Almost 3 weeks ago I woke up on a Sunday morning, anticipating getting the fam up and ready for church, when as I sat up the room began to spin wildly.  Vertigo.  I had experienced this once before, a few years ago, and immediately lost heart.   I hated it then, and I was not looking forward to this ride again.

I booked an appointment with my chiropractor right away, hoping this would be an end-all, fix-all to my vertigo and I could go on with my life within a few days, good as new.  This was not to be the case.

Fast forward to today, I still feel the room spin as I lay down and sit up.  I still feel "euphoric" off and on throughout the day.  But now I have headaches and stiff muscles to add to it.  

Am I getting better?  I think so.

Do I sound upbeat?  I try.

Truth is, I would by lying if I didn't mention the times I spent in tears crying out to God for healing.  Or the days I encounter the many anxious thoughts about my health.  I would not be giving the full story if you didn't know that I look at photos and long for the day I can be physically restored.

But that isn't the WHOLE story.  Because the focus of this story - this season in my life - is that fear is a liar.  Anxiousness is not from God.  And as I continue down this path, as long as I'm asked to endure it, I will find peace knowing that when my strength gives way, He is there and His strength is only just beginning.  When I feel completely unable to bear the pain & dizziness, He is there to get me through it.

"Am I not capable of taking the grains of sand and making a sculpture no wave could overtake?"

That thought came to me as I was praying the other day.  How true!  I have a creator that made me.  Loves me.  Cares what happens to me.  And is standing by me.

If He brings you to it.

He'll bring you through it.

Love that.

Did I post this as a pity party?  Nah.  I did it to let you know that I am real.  I shake my fist at God sometimes.  I question if He's listening.  I worry.  {and worry more}  But I always come back to the promises of Psalm 34.

If you are going through something insurmountable, try finding the peace that surpasses all understanding.