I won’t go into too many details, but let’s
just say I had a moment yesterday.
When I had
kids, I was so excited for all of the firsts.
All of the family trips. Taking
walks. Bike rides. Playing games. Teaching them to cook. Sew.
Do laundry. I was well aware that
I was raising little people. Future
adults. And I desired for them to grow
up into responsible, respectful and productive members of society. What I didn’t plan for was the
heartache. The moments when you realize
it’s getting real. Moments you become
aware that they are approaching that adult phase of life faster than you are
prepared for. That’s the moment I had yesterday. A moment where my breath caught a little in
my throat. My heart sped up
slightly. A moment where the tears that
wanted so badly to well up in my eyes were forced away only to emerge now as I
write this blog post.
It was a
moment that I realized my son was almost a young man. On the cusp of his teen years. Have I done all I could to raise him
right? Am I preparing him properly for
the challenges, failures, disappointments, trials and setbacks he’ll face as he
becomes older. A moment when I became
ultimately aware that I won’t and can’t always be there for him. A moment when I knew that only prayer would
get me through the years that lie ahead.
I’m sure
many parents face this time at some point.
It’s just heart-wrenching to love somebody so much and see them
struggle, fail, face things only they can fix.
So I did the only thing I could
think to do. I pointed him to the
Bible. And we prayed. And oh my goodness. That feeling of being able to purposefully
pray with your child in the moment of trial is AMAZING. I mean, utterly incredible.
And so, it’s
small moments like this that keep it real for me. That remind me that each moment matters. That remind me that the rubber meets the road…
now. They aren’t getting any younger,
and while I still have moments that my heart physically hurts knowing I’ll
never have them little again, I know that there are amazing times to come. Fantastic experiences with a few bumps
sprinkled in.
If you are
in those {early years} of parenting, with the pre-teen years still feeling like
they’re eons away, enjoy the repetitive conversations. The myriad of “why” questions. The constant chatter of silliness in the
car. Because as those little voices
become older, the questions get harder to answer. And sometimes, you won’t even have an
answer.
